Category: Rants and Stories

Ghostly

The whitest thing I’ve ever witnessed was Elizabeth’s face seconds before she administered her first insulin shot. But then, with the help of her big girl panties, she jabbed that sucker in and pushed the plunger with nary a problem.

Very proud of her. On the other hand, she won’t share the spider ring she got from the treasure chest on the way out the door. So selfish sometimes!

Paging Mr. Zog

Went looking for mustache wax here in the West of O over lunch and came up 0 for 3. Guessing no one west of 72nd Street has a stylish mustache? Did Council Bluffs intercept the mustache wax supply truck as it was heading west? Do the denizens of West O have some secret mustache wax substitute they keep all to themselves?

I hardly ever have this problem in the Tuck. Just sayin’. Not sure what I’m saying, but I’m definitely saying it.

I told you so

Coworker: Can you help me fix this?
Me: If you remove something from the solution you need to tell the installer solution to not look for it any more.
[a minute passes]
Me: Oh, you’re probably aware of this, but if you remove that you need to coordinate this with all of the downstream consumers.
Coworker: We’re the only one who is using that
Me: [with trepidation] well…okay then. Just being careful.
Coworker: Thanks!
[a few minutes pass]
Coworker: Why are all the integration builds failing?! Help!

This is my job 68% of the time.

Fantasy whinge

I am the Dusty Baker of fantasy baseball management. Betancourt brings this year’s Beatniks count of season/career ending injuries to at least three and possibly as many as five depending on how Marshall and Revere shake out.

On the pitching side of the roster there are six DL residents, further evidence of my Bakerness. Also funny? Every player traded for this season is on the DL at this time.