Okay, so I’ve been trooping along on my graduate school application. Good Lord, why does it have to be so stupid? All I want to do is hide from the work-a-day world for a few more years and go completely into debt again (after paying off the old undergrad degree just last summer). Should it be so difficult? Doesn’t the school just want to take my money??

Alas and anon, off to home and then to bed. Maybe the raccoons won’t be doing home improvements tonight and I can get some sleep.

oh, yes, you have an acute eye. Fezboy! has dropped the incessant mailto links and the exclusive third person voice. who knows, it may not be permanent.

Sitting in computer class for idiots. People are presenting their web designs. If I have to hear, "so I stuck this in a table to line things up" one more time I’ll puke. Tables are to present tabular data. Tables are not a formatting tool. If people insist on continuing this stylistic crime, browsers will never implement CSS like they are supposed to.

Brand New Feature

This feels a little petty and slightly Freudian, but Fezboy!is compelled to share the weirdness that is his mother. Yes, Mother of Fezboy! was turned loose on the Internet about a year ago. Fezboy! thought that after time her interest would fade, but, alas Fezboy! was mistaken. It seems that the concept of a captive audience has given her all the confidence to use email as a platform to spew inanities indiscriminately.

"Yes, Fezboy!, but what do you call this blog??"

Certainly, Gentle Reader, you have a point. However, Fezboy! is not sending each post to your Inbox, cluttering up the already tornado-wreckage appearing thing it has become. You are surfing whereas Fezboy! is usually trying to find some nugget of information when he opens his Inbox. Fezboy! would venture that you are doing the same when you open your Inbox.

Anyway, all gibbering aside, this intermittent feature will highlight brilliant tidbits and other bon mots from my mother in her daily blather, otherwise known as her daily email. Read along for a few days before you jump to her defense. Feel free to comment anyway. So, from the last week, here are some mental commestibles for your grey matter:

From the distant past (I still keep this one for giggles)
[Fezboy!], you were in Germany on alert to take off at a moment’s notice to the war. I would really like to know how that was for you. I would love to talk to you about it. Ben and Emily, we were back home in front of the TV watching the war like a long, non stop movie and wearing yellow ribbons. Emily gave me an American Flag to fly for my birthday that year which I still fly on every patriotic occasion. The whole country had finally become so patriotic, us included. Amazing.

On its face this seems like a nostalgic mother fondly recalling her son?s heroic sacrifice in time of war. Fezboy! was doing this only to hurt her. Like Fezboy!?s next plot might involve something a bit more drastic, like wearing fingernail polish or something. . .

Yick, this is all sounding a little maudlin. Fezboy! promises they won?t all be so pity-party

This greeted me early in the morning on Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday:
Hi Kiddos–Its Mardi Gras!… Hooray!… The only French holiday celebrated in America. Are you celebrating Mardi Gras with some delicious cajun food?
Like crawdaddies, jambalaya, dirty rice, red beans, alligator, gumbo? Well,
its not my fave foods, but it sure is a good party.

Just tryin? to figure out how it is the only French holiday celebrated in America. Mardi Gras is more a Christian holiday than anything I thought.

From 4 March, 2001:
Hi Kiddos–Wow I just discovered daylight when I got up before 0630 this
morning.

Well, this is all Fezboy! has for this little intermittent feature at this time. Stay tuned for further posts. Actually, Fezboy! is considering a second blog where he merely posts his mother?s daily email barrage. A sort of "for posterity" type of thing.

Well, that didn?t go so bad now. . .

p>And now you are saying to yourself, “That damned Fezboy, when will he ever come back with more witticisms?” Well, your, or is that my, time has come. Even now, as we asynchronously interact, Fezboy is mired in another of what appears to be a long series of grad classes that are geared towards the K-12 crowd. We have spent no less than 90 minutes discussing how to ftp using GUI software. Yikes! You mean if I manage to stumble into a connection, I can just drag and drop files? And they’re mine forever? For free? Wow, the wonders of the internet will never cease to amaze Fezboy.

I suppose that Fezboy does owe you an explanation for the spotty updates so soon into this project. Well, there is no excuse. Fezboy is a busy beaver (yikes!) and the plethora of unfinished tasks has begun to stack up to height that even Fezboy cannot see over. All is well and good though. Instead of buckling down to get ahead, Fezboy will journey back to the land of his birth. Familial obligations require that I, Fezboy, be present for the ceremoneous planting of a relative. We are raised from the earth and so must return. blah blah blah. . .

However, updates may occur whilst I am banished to the frozen American Floodplain. Otherwise, you are dismissed until next Monday. I will be taking attendance.