Almost made it

So the blog gets a fair bit o’ comment spam. It gets filtered to the quarantine and every so often I go wading through that slime hole just on the odd chance someone real has commented on a post but got falsely accused. This is the degree to which I secretly covet comments on my blog posts.

Today’s trawl had this gem:

this individual registered with a golden shower tiny team in addition obtained 19 touchdowns in six online casino games as being a receiver.

which I nearly approved anyway because, damn, that’s just about the right mix of creative and funny. Still, I don’t want to be pimping Lois Vinton knock-off uggs and boner pills or what-have-you so I shit-canned the comment.

But, still, funny!

SPAM FAIL

Somebody’s comment spam scripting agent is having the hiccups. I just found this one in my comment moderator queue:


{
{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never
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{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web
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I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from}
commenting. {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold
of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail}
subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service.
Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let}
me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe.
Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time
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I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things
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{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really like|I like|I love} {your
blog|your site|your web site|your website}!|
Way cool! Some {very|extremely} valid points!
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Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to change,
may you be rich and continue to {help|guide} {other people|others}.|
Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of
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A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get that “perfect balance” between {superb usability|user friendliness|usability} and
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{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
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You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}
{points|factors|things} here. Any way keep up wrinting.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves}
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the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works
guys I’ve {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my
personal|my own} blogroll.|
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group shared this {site|website} with us so I came
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{style and design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too.
{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
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{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I
appreciate it!|
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Great {blog|website|site}, {keep it up|continue the good work|stick
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Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from you!

{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick heads
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Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed}
soon. {Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is} {close to|near to} my heart…

{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}! {Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
It’s very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless}
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time to time} and i own a similar one and i was just {wondering|curious} if you get
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If so how do you {prevent|reduce|stop|protect against} it,
any plugin or anything you can {advise|suggest|recommend}?

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{It is the|It’s the} little changes {that
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{Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks} for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love
{your blog|your site|your website}.. {Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme.
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{Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
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{Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he’ll|he’s going to} {have
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{I will|I’ll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in the event you|in case you|for those who|if you happen to} {continue|proceed} this {in future}.
{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other
people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from
your|out of your} writing. Cheers!|
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I’m {experiencing|having} some {minor|small} security {problems|issues} with my latest {site|website|blog} and
{I would|I’d} like to find something more {safe|risk-free|safeguarded|secure}.
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Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify}
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Spamaramma

In the past week, I’ve had more than 2K spam comments submitted against this post of mine from way back in March, 2008. Crazypants.

Anyway, the volume does not slacken and moderating those at 20 posts at a time is kind of a suck. I’ve turned off comments for any post older than 60 days. This won’t mean a whole lot because there’s just over 40 comments total for this blog over the course of its entire run of five years come September. Most of these are me updating the original post even.

Lots to say, little time in which to say it. I hope to catch up brew blogging some time this weekend…perhaps with a homebrew or two. 🙂

The Agenda

You can smell it in the air. You can hear it rumbling in the distance. You can see the dust cloud on the horizon…

So the commentary in this post seems to have struck a chord, or maybe a nerve, with the St. Johnny’s crew—especially the righteous Anthony Whorebath. A man who would not normally deign to address little old me, but who has decided to make an exception. A man who is so busy traveling as to not have net access enough to drop comment spam on this wayward [and heretofore little noticed] blog but yet clears enough time and magically finds an internet connection during his travels long enough to engage in a limp effort at a punch up.

It would appear that Righteous Tony is playing the Swift Boat card. By his reckoning there is no way I received a comment on this blog linking to his site from the same IP subnet that serves his site because he was “out of town” and “away from internet access during the time in question.” Never mind that I made no mention of when the comment was actually sent… But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we?

His rant doesn’t stop there, though, because the Good Lord provides in mysterious ways. Never mind how spurious our crossed paths might be, little ol’ sinner me has presented Mr. Whorebath with an opening to attack his perceived enemies. In his world I am in league with Richard Carrier who was subject to a “blistering take down” at the hands of Big Tony over some internecine Battle Royale or other. In fact, Mr. Carrier is so demoralized by the extreme Logical Suplex thrown by Mr. Whorebath that he has now resorted to Gogglebombing.

Memo to Anthony Horvath:

Sometimes getting called out for comment spam is just getting out for comment spam. Spammers all make mistakes at some point. We accept your apology. Now lets just move on.

I would like to say, OTOH, that your quick thinking and opportunistic use of some random inbound linkage to further promote your swindle shows promise. You may just be able to keep a step ahead of your flock as you lead them to slaughter. Good luck, sir.

St. Spammy’s dot Com

So I posted a podcast today as I do on occasion, especially on Sundays when the dogs decide it is time to wake up long before I would like and/or Elz does. The few spare hours on a Sunday morning are nice for their self-directed solitude.

However, we digress…

So, like I said, I post this podcast and maybe even listen to the first half hour or so. It all works. All is good in the land of fezzes and pet hair. Elz and I go about our day. A late breakfast that would be called lunch if it didn’t consist of bacon!, eggs, hash browns, and toast. We feed a bit to the dogs because that’s what dogs live for. We doodle around on the computers a bit before getting ready for the big bowling bash. We then bowl (and, oh, someday I’ll have to write about that too) and leave and I drive to work…etc.

All this leading up to the point where I write the previous post identifying a d-i-y for making lava lamps. Before leaving the old WP management console I check in on the comments queue and, lo, there’s a comment!

Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. We just don’t get a lot of those around here. Heck, we don’t really even get readers around these parts. Still and all, there’s a comment demanding moderation. So I take a look…

It’s basically a word-for-word quote of my post with a “foo says:” hyperlinked to some evangelical Christian nutbar site. So, assuming that they’re not being swift boated by some vigilante 733t h4X0rz, these “Christians” feel justified in using comment spam to spread the word of Christ. Brilliant.

After all, if you look at this comment spammer’s website you’ll see links to right wing fact benders, Anthony Horvath pimps his book filler, and charitable fronts for lining evangelical leaders’ pockets. There’s a lot of “angry god, righteous jesus” editorializing and the whole bag of crap this brand of Corporate Christianity brings with it.

So, yeah, didn’t approve the comment but that didn’t feel quite good enough. Thought you’d all like to know what a shit Anthony Horvath is and what a crapular collection of charitable fronts one could use to line one’s pockets might look like. Enjoy the googlebomb you fuckstick.


Update: 20080303T162356
So I check the comments to this post and there’s some link farm building WordPress blog with a Christian bent doing essentially the same thing as St. Johnny’s. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Chuckles? Is spam the new path to salvation? Is anyone else running into this behavior?

Oh, and please do not confuse this with Ms. Massey in the comment section. Which, by the way, thank you and welcome aboard.