I’ve just spent about 90 minutes looking at the HTML5 and CSS3 specs for the first time. Brain asplode!

My stories of web development headaches/heartaches from ten to fifteen years ago have to sound like the infirm rantings of an age-ravaged mind to anyone who has picked this stuff up in the last few years.

Boring old man stuff

Here’s a question I never thought I’d have to ask: Why do medical-grade, 30-40mmhg compression stockings have to be so bland? All of the boring ‘B’ colors are represented; black, beige, and navy blue. They do have white for the dashing, athletic types, but that’s it–and–whitey tighties for legs? Ick.

I would be way more likely to wear the damn things if I could have plaid, or argyle, or striped, or Jackson Pollock styled socks. I want crazy colors and wacky designs. I’m not embarrassed by needing the damn things, I’m embarrassed because they’re all designed to hide embarrassment. Screw that. I wrecked my circulation skateboarding and I want something that celebrates that. Throw some skulls and anarchy symbols on those babies. Tie dyed ’em and decorate them with dancing bears. Cammo print them in green, blue, or orange colors. Something! Anything!

You do this for flimsy, whinging athletes and their “performance” stockings and sleeves. Why not for those of us who actually need serious calf-squeezing augmentation to keep us from karking it due to DVTs?

So, medical equipment fuddy-duddies out there, fix this shit. Stat.

Another sign of kids needing to get off my lawn post-haste

The goa mix [1] is 20 years old. I was more ska/jazz/CMJ at the time but this mix was my gateway into the world of electronica. It was a seed that didn’t really sprout for another decade but that fact left me in a place where I could follow the trajectory backward and also launch fully into where various scenes were going.

Trance is, ultimately, okay for me. My preferences run more IDM/cliq-hop/whatever-the-hell box you want to use to contain Richard James. I also like more chill/ambient noise stuff. The goa mix is at the edge of where I want to be in terms of what I’d call a ‘clubby’ feel. It’s also beautifully flawed in a way that a derivative DJ would never allow. BPM is all over the place. Key changes are sometimes abrupt. Yet every transition feels organic and as a whole it stands up against anything put out today.

And if you want to hear it without the commentary (because, frankly, Mr. Oakenfold sounds a bit addled throughout) you can grab that here [2].

[1] http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01nkgbd
[2] https://soundcloud.com/pauloakenfold/paul-oakenfold-radio-1-1

Odd pastime

I like to make snarky comments to the spam email I receive. It must be some vestigial thing left over from the days before email spam—when every email you received had been laboriously typed by someone you had a reasonable expectation to be corresponding with. Like there’s someone on the other side of this who gives a rat’s ass what I think about whatever intrusion they’re precipitating in my inbox.

Yet it doesn’t stop me.

Your Secret Hookup is Waiting!
Good. They can wait. Kept me waiting long enough first.
Time for a new car?
Time for you to blow Chunks? Chunks is my goat.
Redeem Your $100 Walmart Voucher! Expires 08/23/14
Ah shucks, you shouldn’t have. Seriously. I don’t shop there.
Meet single MLB fans near you!
Screw you, MLB. Seriously? I gave you my email address so I could listen to your crappy games. Why the hell do you think I’m single anyway? Awfully damned presumptuous, don’t you think?

And so it goes as I walk through my inbox.