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Leaving for the city of mighty winds and broad shoulders for the 36th[?] annual CFCL baseball draft. It looks to be a hard year for the Beatniks as we are suffering under a penalty for releasing Denver’s most notorious wife beater, Jose Reyes. Still, there is baseball, comraderie, and crepes in my immediate future.
And that, my friends, is why I am happier as a Beatnik. So from our headquarters in Eukennott, Iowa to your home, wherever that might be: Happy Baseball Season 2016.
What could possibly go wrong with the the lineup the Beatniks are going to sport this weekend?
Sheesh.
I have a little quiz for you. What two things do the following have in common?
Answer:
Admittedly, I took a few of these in the rotation draft knowing full well they were DL’ed but I’m still a bit surprised by the quantity. Several others were possibles going into the draft last weekend but I never thought every single gamble would go bust in the first week.
Looking forward to the first free agent bid day so I can fill my roster holes with folks who should never be on any roster whatsoever. Why did I agree to come back to the CFCL?
Council Bluffs (AP) – “Cancel your late season skiing plans and give up on your Canucks early this year, ladies and gentlemen, because spring training is back,” was returning GM and owner Nick Hansen’s opening line to the throng of baseball fans in Western Iowa at an early morning press conference. Tens of fans had gathered to hear the good news on this chilly and remarkably snow free day.
Long courted by elements of the CFCL since the disintegration of the now defunct Nick’s Picts franchise, Hansen has relented to the demands of this baseball-starved region and applied for membership in the Midwest’s premier fantasy baseball league. “I know the Picts were the very model of striving toward mediocrity,” Hansen continued, “but inheriting a pre-built franchise should afford us a firm place in the middle of the pack next season. We look forward to providing the bar by which all other franchises can measure failure in seasons to come.”
All of this assumes, of course, ratification of the application for membership. While sources say the acceptance is a foregone conclusion, no one was willing to put that on the record.
Hansen made the announcement sporting the new uniforms for the franchise. “Nick’s Picts exemplified Tartan Pride, but those colors should remain retired. Heck, I should probably remain retired. Still, today we embark on a new path, with a new team, and a renewed relationship with our sponsor, Eukennott Sausages. I think speak on behalf of all NL-style baseball fans, as well as the area’s disaffected Royals fans when I recommend the Eukennott Beatniks’ application to the CFCL.”
Can a ragtag ensemble of black beret and turtleneck wearing hipsters strike fear in the league’s other franchises? Will the CFCL even associate with the local nine? One thing is certain, this team would always do well On The Road.